It’s high tourist season in Seattle. Cruise ships disgorge their human cargo upon returning from Alaska. Would-be hipsters from Sheboygan, Savannah, and Seagoville arrive in search of legal recreational weed (or to attend Hempfest, which happened to be this weekend). Discerning between the two groups at Pike Place Market is easy.
Definitely a Local
Parks in a nearby garage, takes the bus, or rides their bike
Dresses in flannel shirt with a wool hat, even in 90° weather
Footwear consists of Birkenstocks or other sensible shoes
Keeps to the right
Avoids the area of the Market next to the fish-chuckers unless buying fish from them
Buys flowers, or something for dinner
Definitely a Tourist
Tries to drive through the Market, thinking s/he can get a parking spot on the street
Honks horn to get pedestrians to cross faster (horn honking is a serious faux pas hereabouts)
If a female, totters on spike heels over the cobblestones
Takes selfie at “original” Starbucks (which actually isn’t the original Starbucks), or the Gum Wall (back in gooey, gross splendor after being cleaned last summer)
Stands in the middle of the aisles obstructing traffic
Buys a t-shirt, maybe
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