Venice as Theme Park

I’ve never been much for theme parks. I went to Epcot a couple of times when my mother was spending winters outside Orlando. I went to Six Flags Over Texas once. I’ve been to Las Vegas, a grown-up theme park, twice. Venice takes the cake as a theme park, in my estimation. Let me count the ways:

A high ratio of tourists to residents. The building where we’re renting an apartment has seven tourist rentals. Because tourists can pay more for temporary lodging, natives are priced out. We’ve gone to several restaurants this week where Italian was the second or third language spoken.

Souvenirs and more souvenirs. The streets of Venice are packed with souvenir shops, all designed to separate tourists from their money. Some of them sell T-shirts, refrigerator magnets, and hats; others sell more upscale items. This was a display window Julian saw in Piazza San Marco the other night.

How much did this souvenir shop have to pay Disney to sell these?

Theme park rides. The gondolas are Venice’s answer to bumper cars. The other night we were watching the gondolas and other boats jockeying for position in the canal below our rental apartment. Our water taxi ride from the airport was analogous to a roller coaster, given the choppy water in the lagoon.

“Add-ons.” Julian reserved a date and time for us to tour St. Mark’s Basilica. We were in and out in less than half an hour. I wasn’t feeling well; in addition, the basilica had added charges to see specific areas such as the altar.

This was as close as we could get to the altar.

I guess we can cross Venice off the bucket list after this trip. One visit was sufficient.

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