The Work from Home Blues

I know, I should be thankful to have a job where I can work from home. However, seven months of working from home with no end in sight can get anyone squirrelly. You know you’ve been working from home for too long when:

Business casual attire is clean pajamas or sweats.

Casual Friday attire is a 25-year-old Pearl Jam t-shirt you thought you’d thrown out years ago.

You’ve developed a Frida Kahlo-esque unibrow.

You don’t care about the unibrow because your overgrown bangs cover it.

You can’t remember the last time you shaved. (Razor? What’s that?)

The trip to the grocery store is the highlight of your week.

You’re on a first-name basis with the Grub Hub delivery person.

You haven’t had to hit up an ATM for cash or fill up your car’s gas tank for weeks, if not months.

You squint like a naked mole rat that’s come to the surface whenever you go outside.

You choose your virtual meeting background to send subliminal messages to your coworkers.

  • Paris, Hawaii, or some far-flung place. Damn pandemic! I’m supposed to be here right now!
  • Kitchen. It’s lunchtime. Let’s wrap up this meeting already!
  • Bedroom. What’s up with a 7 am meeting? Or, I live with stir-crazy banshees trying to do online school in the living room.
  • Outdoors. My home is a pit.
  • Bookcase. Look at this! I’m so well-read! (Never mind that I can’t get rid of anything, even my college textbooks or documentation for Windows 95, and I’ve never cracked the spines on many of these books.)

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