Rest in Peace, Mom

My mother died on January 28 at age 88. She collapsed at the nursing home where she lived. She was revived and taken to a nearby hospital. She had low blood pressure that couldn’t be stabilized, kidney failure, possible pneumonia, and extensive blood clots in her legs. The prognosis was grim, so my sister had her taken off life support. My sister and niece were able to be at her bedside when she passed.

Rather than give a traditional biography, I’ll give a few episodes to illustrate the woman Mom was. She practically earned a nursing degree from her years caring for my brother, who was born with spina bifida. As a result, Lyle lived to be 45 – no mean feat, since most kids born with spina bifida in 1960 didn’t make it past 7. He was able to live at home his entire life. In his last years, he had nurses’ aides to help when Mom couldn’t maneuver him. She was at his bedside when he died of kidney failure in 2006.

Mom got into crafts in her 50’s. She started out making Cabbage Patch-like dolls. My niece got an early version, which my sister named the Onion Head Baby. I got one, which I named Libby. Later on, she started making quilts for family, friends, and patients at the Veterans’ Hospital in Syracuse. One day she was describing the quilt she was making for somebody’s baby when I asked, “What about my babies (the cats)?” A package arrived on my next birthday, containing two cat-sized quilts. Our current pair of felines sleep on them all the time. I also have queen size and lap quilts that she made. Her final craft obsession was adult coloring books. When she first moved into the nursing home, Terry had to bring many of her books and marking pens down. As certain colors ran dry, Terry had to deliver fresh pens to the nursing home.

One memory that sticks in my mind was the cookout we had the day after my nephew’s wedding in 2014. My brother-in-law’s dad (Stan Sr.), sister, nephew, and nephew’s girlfriend were there along with my family. Mom’s first job after high school was at the Birdseye plant in Fulton, and Stan Sr. was her boss. They had a blast reminiscing about that summer. A great many guys were quite interested in the new girl in the lab – one of whom became our father.

The pandemic and resulting lockdown affected Mom’s cognitive ability, as it did many others in long-term care facilities. I bought her a simple cell phone the last time I was in New York. She’d forget to recharge it or fail to answer it. Terry then got her a land line. She’d never answer it, either. On the occasions that we could talk to her, she mentioned that her parents were there. She never gave up on the idea that she’d get a car and an apartment in Hannibal again.

Was her death due to Covid-19? Not sure. The nursing home tested residents several times a week and she’d always tested negative. She got her second vaccination a week before she died. The blood clots in her legs were probably due to not moving around much, although some people infected with the virus develop blood clots. I’d say that Covid-19 contributed to her death rather than caused it.

Be at peace, Mom.